Happy Inauguration!!

Today, I have decided to drink too much. I will eat a McDonald’s cheeseburger and then take naked photos of myself in the truck stop’s men’s room. Certainly, I have other things I could do, but today is a day of weakness and idle despair. It is cold and gray, and I have nowhere to go. A kind of per diem that gnaws on the bones and puts aches in the soul seems to loiter here, and smartly, in this godforsaken place, they sell coolers and beer.
I steal now, very much, so nothing of value is questioned. If you want Heineken and a four pack of Ultimate Lithium Energizer batteries, put them in your coat— no one is watching. My experience tells me: no one cares for these little things. Don’t waste your money, no one is even paying attention. Besides, it feels good to be frugal. And frugality is something you need to learn, if you wish to snare that Jewish mate.
If you didn’t know, America is a wonderful labyrinth of artful dodgers. There are also muckrakers, sycophants, lame-ducks, and sons of Zeus, id est, people just like jew/you and me. If someone out of our huddled mass wants to be a bigot, a quarter-back, or a culinary student, our freedoms allow us to move as far away from that source of irritation as we want. This is not New York City or California, this is America.
Recently, I had to go number two. And, as embarrassing as that is, I was quickly unaware of my natural baseness when I saw the fresh graffito on the door of the stall. It seemed to be still steaming with ignorance, and I felt I should photo its turdy sentiment. Problem was, my new camera was in the truck. Wiping, I vowed to return to this bull’s eye of assholes and record this stupidity for you, my friends. When I returned, half was erased…and very cleanly. Today, when I will drink too much, it has disappeared completely. Some restroom attendant has completed an odd part of their contractual duty. And, I will now declare, all the Heineken in the world won’t power a third eye. Cheers from Mebane, NC.

“Why are niggers so
Inconsiderate
Thoughtless
Selfish
& Lazy?”

It continued:

“Why would anyone vote for
A Musliem [sic] Nigger Terrorist
Does Anyone remember 911?”

Remember, my last name is Bruce, and Lenny Bruce’s last name was Schneider.