Yer Old-Assed News...

VATICAN CITY, Nov. 22, 2008 (Reuters) — The Vatican's newspaper has finally forgiven John Lennon for declaring that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, calling the remark a "boast" by a young man grappling with sudden fame.
The comment by Lennon in 1966 infuriated Christians, particularly in the United States, some of whom burned Beatles' albums in huge pyres.
But time apparently heals all wounds.
"The remark by John Lennon, which triggered deep indignation mainly in the United States, after many years sounds only like a 'boast' by a young working-class Englishman faced with unexpected success, after growing up in the legend of Elvis and rock and roll," Vatican daily Osservatore Romano said.
Lennon was murdered in New York in 1980.

Up next…
The Jews forgive the Nazis…
The fetus forgives Roe V. Wade…
Slaves forgive Whipmasters…
Turk, Armenian, Serb, Croat, Palestinian, Israeli, Shia, Sunni, Shiite, Kurd, Tutsi, Hutu, Janjaweed, Chechen, Tamilese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Sudanese, Niggaplease, etc…all forgive whoever...
Native Americans forgive America by forgiving England, France, and Spain…
Inner-city blacks forgive the blessings of great crack availability…
Samson forgives Delilah for his new butch hairdo…
Tom forgives Jerry and Spike…
Zelda forgives Link (for his D&D obsession)…
The city of Chicago forgives the city of Frozen Bag Asstown…
A Virginian virgin named Virgil forgives vagina everywhere …
Baby Jesus forgives St. Nick’s easy commercial appeal…
Werewolves forgive Wherewolfs…
My left shoe forgives my left sock…
My left nut forgives my left squirrel…
I forgive myself for not enjoying the company of babies…
…or teenagers really…or people with Gay-dar…
…or people bigoted to the rights of Gay-dar owners…
…or people too poor to afford a monthly Gay-dar subscription…
…OR…an antiquated religious institution, with their gall and poor skills in forgiveness time management.
Oh…who am I kidding? Tell‘em Pete Townshend: “You Are All Forgiven!”

31 days in 31 days

Day two- A cause I can get behind

Anyone who was with me at last years Bonnaroo remembers the Kanye debacle. It created such a hilarious vibe the following day at the show. Who will ever forget the original "Fuck Kanye"?

Today I would like to throw my support to the Colbert "Operation Humble Kanye", where as individuals should go out and purchase the Colbert Christmas if for no other reason than to knock Kanye out of first place on the itunes chart. This goes out to all the sad people hanging in the rain at 3:00 am waiting for Kanye to come on stage...while I was sitting dry in my tent drinking white russians. And once again, Fuck Kanye!

31 days in 31 days

In recognition of my birthday month I would like to introduce a new series I like to call, 31 days in 31 days. Everyday I will post a new blog- it could be breaking news, or a recipe for chili, I don't know what the future holds.

Day one- Throw me a freaking bone would you.

President Elect Obama nominates Sen. Hillary Clinton for Secretary of State and (drum roll please) she graciously accepts. This sure gave the press corp something to gossip about in the playground. Of course the party (in this case dems) comes together in the end. Don't we all say things in the heat of the battle? It would have been a rather boring primary if everyone played nice. Was this the first election they covered? And after all the hours and dollars spent, I would be expecting something too. Not a bad gig she picked up either. Oh, those frequent flier miles!