Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The National Enquirer = Best News (excluding fox)

Has there ever been some shit like this? Am I super excited that our president is getting the Tiger Beat treatment? For a second, but not really. At first glance, this is hilarious. After that though, i realize that a giant portion of our population is reading this with all seriousness. Holy shit you say? Me too. I do like the idea of calling him "Bam" though.

OBAMA hush-hush SECRETS


What you don't know about Prez Elect Bam will astound you!

Well, for starters, according to the UK Telegraph, he's a FAN BOY!

Bam collects Spider-Man and Conan the Barbarian comics (but we don't know yet if he digs Ditko)

o High School B-ball nickname was "O'Bomber"

o Obama means "one who is blessed" in Swahili -- just like Lt. Uhuru in Star Trek -- Uhuru means "freedom"..

o Bam digs Michelle's shrimp linguini big time!

o He's a Grammy winner for the audio version of his memoir, Dreams From My Father

o Bam's a lefty.

o GEEK! Bam's read every single Harry Potter book.

o His Hall of Trophies include a set of boxing gloves autographed by Muhammad Ali

o While living in Indonesia, the future Prez chowed down on dog, snake, and roasted grasshopper. YUM!

o El Presidente futuro habla espanol -- perfecto.

o Still got the nic monkey on his back -- promised Michelle he'd quit smoking before running for president - didn't.

o Kreegah bundolo! Bam kept a pet ape, Tata, in Indonesia. Don't know about a pet elephant named "Tantor".

o Secret Service code-name: Renegade.

o Fave book: Moby Dick by Herman Melville about an obsessed seaman's hunt for a great white whale.

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